Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Baby Talk

So, recently Hubby and I have started talking more about kids.  Yes, we talked about kids before we got married, but to be honest, we never got into much detail about names, nurseries, or day care.  H was scared of the idea and I didn't want to stress the guy out--it's not like I was pregnant then and we were forcing the topic.  When we were dating and engaged and I'd bring these things up, Hubby would answer my question and move on to something else with a worried look on his face.  Poor guy was scared.  Actually, "scared of babies" might be an understatement.  "Terrified" is probably more like it.  We agreed that we'd wait a year or two after we were married to have kids, and I was happy with that.  I didn't want kiddos right away anyway.

Now, 4 months into marriage, Hubby seems to be MUCH more willing to talk about kids, and we've been talking about it a lot over the past week.  We've talked about pregnancy, doctor visits, maternity leave, baby names, our philosophies about teaching our kids, and way more.  Part of me was like, YAY, we're talking about babies finally!  And another part of me was like, Oh crap, we're talking about kids... yikes.  The thought of having kids sounds amazing, but the idea of pregnancy and childbirth worry me.  Hubby and I laughed at how I'll probably be disgusted at the thought of changing diapers and I'll want to wear a Hazmat suit and goggles to change the baby.  And maybe some rubber gloves up to my elbows with one of those face masks that surgeons wear, with the plastic shield across the eyes.  Not really, but a fleeting thought crossed my mind.

As for babies, so many questions come up for me.  Among them:  What if I'm not one of those women who loves being pregnant?  Will I be miserable for 9 months?  What if I have terrible morning sickness?  What if I give birth to a holy terror?  What if I never feel rested again?  All of these things swirl around my mind like a cyclone, moving fast and furiously between questions before I even have a chance to rationalize them.  Now that the reality of starting a family is drawing closer, I can't help but to feel nervous but excited about the whole thing.  I actually thought to myself, But I'm not old enough to have kids.  UM, yeah, I'm actually in my early 30s, so I'm there.  Plenty old enough for kids and quite honestly, I better get started soon.  I'm no spring chicken after all (as my mother likes to remind me, seriously).  I'm lucky to have chosen a man who will be a great dad, and I'm at a good place in life.  I can handle it.  Thankfully I have another year or so to get used to the idea.

1 comment:

LenoreNeverM♡re said...

all the best!
Baby is such a blessing! plus,
shopping for baby clothes can be the sweetest experience i think! They are so cute

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