Tuesday, April 15, 2014

More Questions for the Preggo

Lately, it seems like people have not only been asking me more questions about my pregnancy, but giving me their commentary on how they think I'm handling my pregnancy.  People warned me that the Peanut Galleries of the world would be doing this, providing their unsolicited opinions and making statements about what THEY think I should do/eat/think/believe.  I was ready for it.  Although most of this is meant with the best of intentions, I know that some questions are coming from a place of judgment and critique.  It's all soooo much fun!

So, without further ado...

Q:  "Why don't you put more baby bump pictures on Facebook (and Instagram, Twitter, etc.)?"  Also, "Are you going to have maternity photos taken?"
A:  Hmmm... It's both simple and complicated.  Simple answer:  I just don't feel like posting any pictures until I have a more defined baby bump.  This is the truth.  Complicated answer:  I've gained a lot of weight over the past couple of years and I really don't like seeing any ol' pictures of myself plastered all over the internet.  I'm selective about which pictures I show these days, until I'm feeling better about how I look.  As I noted in a previous post, I got pregnant at a higher weight than I had hoped, and I've been instructed not to "diet" while pregnant.  I've been making efforts to eat healthier and take on healthy habits, which has helped keep my total weight gain to date at 11 lbs.  I actually do have a growing baby bump, though, so I will probably post a picture or two soon.  I probably won't be investing in maternity photos for the reasons stated above, but I could change my mind in the upcoming months.  You never, ever know.  (I've been known to change my mind from time to time.)

Q:  "Why didn't you do something special for your family to announce your pregnancy?  Like giving your mom a special "grandma" onesie or something."  Also, "Why didn't you have a gender reveal party?"
A:  Let me start by saying that I LOVE parties, and any excuse for throwing one, but there are several reasons why I didn't make a big production out of announcing my pregnancy or the sex of the baby.  First, my family members are anxious and impatient beings who have been dying for me to get pregnant for years.  I found out I was pregnant on December 17, and immediately I asked Hubs how we should tell people--special gift at Christmas time or just call everyone right away and share the good news.  As soon as I mentioned these options, my better senses smacked me in the face.  My family would NOT have been happy if I had known I was pregnant for 1-2 weeks and didn't tell them, only to spring it on them with a silly gift at the holiday party.  I also vividly remember my sister saying to me, "Don't you dare find out your pregnant then wait several weeks to surprise us with some dumb gift." (That says it all, folks.)  My family doesn't care about making a big ordeal out of things, so we abandoned the gift idea and called everyone.  It was a wonderful night.  Everyone was happy and crying (tears of joy), and I knew I'd made the right call.  The gender reveal is pretty much the same story, but in all honesty, nobody really cared if we were having a girl or a boy.  While our families and close friends were interested in our baby's sex, waiting for us to plan some party wasn't going to make anyone happy and we would have been pestered non-stop.  We just called our families, texted the news to a few close friends, and posted the news on Facebook.

Planning parties with my family and friends is tough anyway.  We don't all live near each other.  My parents are 1.5 hours from us and my sister and her family are almost 2 hours away.  Many of our friends are in town, but most live 20-30 minutes (or more) away and everyone has incredibly busy lives.  It just worked better for us to not have a party.  I don't think this makes our announcement any more or less special than someone else's, but with all things, I think you have to consider your audience and timing.  The Peanut Gallery has told me that I'm not "trying hard enough to make my pregnancy special" because I'm not doing these things, but I think that's ridiculous.  10 years ago, nobody did gender reveal parties and silly gifts. They're an invention of the Facebook and Pinterest era, and while these parties are a fun concept, they're not necessary to have a happy, healthy and fun pregnancy.

Q:  "Have your feet started to swell yet?"
A:  Oh yes, and my fingers too!  I could barely stuff my feet into my work loafers this morning, which was delightful.  I can't wait until the third trimester when my feet will only fit in to flip flops!  My bosses are going to love that.  My fingers started to swell early on, too, so I took my rings off around week 10.  Then I got hit on by some dude at the Veterinarian's office and was asked by a lady at work about my baby's dad.  I knew that if she'd seen my wedding rings, she would have asked about my husband.  I knew right then and there that I needed a cheap, fake wedding ring to hold me over, ASAP.  Fast forward to 2 weekends ago, I was shopping at Target and found a passable set of fakes for $20.  SOLD. 

Q:  "When are you having your shower?" 
A:  Hopefully when I'm around 30-32 weeks.  Any later will just be miserable and hot and uncomfortable.  Plus, it will be nice to have an idea of what I'll need to buy on my own before baby arrives, and have time to buy everything without being in a rush.

Q:  "Will you be doing anything special for Bella?"
A:  I didn't know what this meant.  If they mean a gift, or special treatment, or special kenneling, or a party, I don't think so.  We'll give her all of the same love, cuddles and kisses that we already do, but we don't want to draw attention to this as a huge, life changing event for her (even though it is, kind of).  I want her to know that she's loved as much as always, but sending her to a pet resort for a week would send her into a panic.  She'd think of it as a Puppy Alcatraz, and would probably come back home with a horrible attitude and pee all over the house just to spite us.  It's better for us to show her that things will be carrying on the same as always, just with a new family member.  Also, if that friend asking about Bella meant special training to prep her for a baby, I'm not sure.  Bella loves babies and kids, and while she will be a little bit jealous with a baby in the house at first, I'm confident that she'll adjust quickly to change like she always.  I do know of a good pet psychologist/trainer, though, so I'll use her if Bella starts doing anything cray.

AHHHH, these people kill me.  But I know their questions are coming from a place of love... helpfulness... and nosiness.  Until later, friends!

1 comment:

Heather (My Little HEA) said...

Oh the nosy people! They're everywhere and while I get lots of "single" questions I'm glad to be warned they won't miraculously stop should anything with that status change, lol. Yay for cheap look-a-like fake wedding rings!

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I'm a wife, daughter and amazing twin sister. I'm a mom to my adorable dog, Bella. Loves: Shopping, cooking, baking, good grammar and Dave Matthews Band. I'm also a Bath and Body Works addict, a Michigan State Spartans fanatic, and an iPhone aficionado. I see beauty in simple things and little things make me ever-so-happy. Welcome to my world!

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